Whether it’s because of the quarantine and working from home or just because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I felt overwhelmed, irritable, and tense. There was electricity on my skin waiting for one bad email or one poorly timed comment from my S/O to completely lose it. At one point in the day I did – I’d had enough, and the apartment was going to pay for it – I grabbed one of the frozen grapes I was eating (my favorite snack) and threw it against the wall. The showed them. It showed me…now there was a small, purple stain on the wall AND I felt embarrassed for the little tantrum I had. Your classic lose-lose situation.

Looking for an outlet, I went on YouTube to give my mind a break – Dr. Phil – surely someone else’s misfortune would help put my negativity into perspective. That’s when an ad come on for an online yoga teaching course; I have been toying with the idea and now it seemed all my ads were yoga related. However, for the first time, an ad for Kundalini yoga came through and I let it play to completion. The purpose of a yoga teaching course for me was to educate myself in yoga for my own personal health, not necessarily to teach others, so I knew there was significantly more for me to learn. At around 8pm, I unrolled my mat in the living room and tuned in to Brett Larkin’s beginners Kundalini yoga session.

Given I had just learned about Kundalini 30 minutes ago, I had no preconceptions or expectations for the class. As far as I could see in the video thumbnail, she was dressed in white and that was about all I could gather. I anticipated asanas given that is about the extent of my yoga knowledge – I was very wrong in a wonderful way. For starters, the class was about 95% conducted in a seated position focusing on fire breathing techniques and repetition of both movement as well as mantra. A few cat/cow transitions made their way into the movements. While sounding like an overall peaceful session, it was astonished at how much effort was required to properly execute fire breathing especially for several minutes at a time (this morning I awoke with sore abs – not something I expected at all). More significantly, however, was the emotional release I experienced after each breathing session in the cycle. I can’t quite put into words what those feelings were, how they bubbled, or their source, but with each final exhale tears came flooding and streamed down my face. My neck felt hot, the hair on my arms stood straight up, and deep in sacrum I could feel something churning.

I stepped off my mat completely euphoric, wanting to learn more, wanting to practice more, wanting to fully immerse Kundalini into my daily practice. It also made me curious – what was I letting go of in those tears? What was I fighting within me? Those are lifelong questions that require time and patience to understand; Kundalini yoga is not an instant cure for anxiety or depression or repressed emotions, that is to say that one session is not enough, but it can be an outlet and long-term remedy toward self-awareness and healing. I cannot dispute that today I feel relieved and rested – I also felt a sensation in the back of my head at the base of my neck – like a tingling or a tickle; the sensation blurs the lines between the purely physical and the sentimental. I may have tapped into something new here (at least new to me!) and without a doubt, I recommend it for others.

Try Kundalini yoga – a kind suggestion from a love at first sight convert.