I am a notoriously lazy person.

In my imagination, I envision a superior version of myself. The person I long for is one that flourishes in the early mornings, uses Saturdays for exploration, and Sundays for introspection. Undoubtedly, this person effortlessly keeps a tidy home, always puts things back where they belong and has a profound vision of her life which ties in with her values. The biggest difference between her and I is her innate connection to her ikigai – it is because of this “reason for being” that the universe conspires to help her attain it. Unsuccessfully, I strive to usurp her place, but she is never closer to my reach. In part I fail because my effort is about a 10%…and it takes about 100% effort throughout the day to turn out even that much. I lay on the sofa or possibly the floor as days turn into nights, summers transition into winters, and hope into anger. I suppose I am waiting for inspiration will come.

What is laziness?

Psychologists have described laziness or lazy individual as one who can accomplish a job that should be done but is unable to do so because of the effort involved. This person performs the task carelessly or executes some  other less strenuous activity or remains idle. Several psychological studies argue to debunk the concept that laziness is inherent such as saying that a person has a “lazy personality”. These studies conclude that laziness does not develop as a result of complacency rather suggesting it is caused by low motivation which may be blocked by several underlying issues including lack of self-efficacy, lack of interest in the task to be done, and discouragement among several others hypothesized causes. A combination of these factors causes the individual to prolong action, procrastinate, inflict negative self-talk, rationalize lack of action, and vacillate. My interpretation and experience summarize these theories as describing a person that is essentially lost – in not knowing what to do, they do nothing.

How does this happen?

I have spent much of my idle time theorizing “How did this happen to me?” The roots of most of our troubles go back to childhood, so I start there. I grew up with the privilege of being raised by two loving parents; they were loving to each other and to me, generous in their care and attention, and very much involved in my decision making. How could I possibly blame them? I feel guilty even considering that I might. In their desire to guide me they may have been inadvertently training to become accustomed to extremely structured routines that rob me of independent decision-making and overall creativity. As a result, I became overly reliant on others to help direct me in some way or another. Even in my romantic relationship I see the effects – I rely on my partner to lead so that the burden and responsibility of decision making is lifted.

Despite this affliction, I think of myself as a successful, fortunate, blessed, and lucky individual. I am confident in my ability to realize goals once I commit with a track record to prove it. Of the many studies on laziness, some suggest a lack of motivation is caused by poor self-discipline – I explored this further. Historically, my academic achievements paint the picture of a diligent student. In fact, my uniform would remain on until my homework was completed, television was prohibited on weekdays, and swim team trainings took up my free time six times a week since the age of seven. I thought of this as discipline…or was it again an example of an external structure I adhered to?

When did this happen?

As an only child, my skills in self-soothing and self-entertainment were well developed. I could play tirelessly with my Barbies fabricating voices for each doll, sketchpads with clothing designs and doodles piled up by the bed, and even “operations” were necessary for my stuffed animals when they were sick leveraging “on-hand” tools like Ziplock bags to fabricate IV drips in such emergencies. At this time, my life had no room for idleness.

Around the age of 12, things changed for me. I was not permitted to play outside and had few friends if any true friends at all. The summers felt long indoors knowing other children played in groups outside. It was around this time that I began to draw less and crave more external stimulus. I loved school for that very reason – it was my only interaction outside of my home – you don’t really chat at swim practice. By high school, most of my summers were spent in bed or possibly in Colombia with my family. Even there, in the springtime weather bliss of Medellin, “the city of eternal spring”, I was confined to the home and unallowed to exit unless chaperoned. Colombia uses a calendar-year school schedule so I would wait for my cousins to come home for what felt like all day. As much as I loved my grandparents, I suffered at home with them, watching the news, and looking out the window. As I grew older my situation temporarily improved in Colombia – with barely a curfew, I craved that freedom looking to weekends as if it was a last breath.

How does one escape laziness?

Perhaps this sounds familiar.

“I just need some time to figure out what I like”

“I am not passionate about [blank]. I NEED to be passionate about what I am doing or else what is the point of doing anything at all”

“I don’t want to live some boring, miserable life where I just do what people expect me to do, living for the weekend, and watching my youth just slip away”

That last one always gives me pause. I am 28 years young; I am sickened and embarrassed by the wasted years I spent ignoring untapped potential and sleeping on opportunities. I repeat, I am a notoriously lazy person – it is a plague.

This post is partially a form of self-help therapy; in writing, you [the reader] encourage my accountability. So, as part of this exercise, I’ve listed three pieces of advice for myself, and hopefully for others as well.

1. You cannot wait for inspiration to come.

The life of the lazy person IS waiting for passion to overtake you. Sometimes it does, but most of the time, it does not. During that time imagination dwindles, opportunity is overlooked, and your personal magic weakens. If you take a moment to study your current state can you objectively determine that which needs to be done to progress? Most likely yes. Are these requirements “fun” and passion-filled? Most likely no. Ultimately, the goal is to move. Remember that all easy things in life have already been done, and the life of a lazy individual is full of minimal effort accomplishments.

2. Make motivation a “habit”.

Be S.M.A.R.T. about your requirement; if structure fuels your success, learn to create a personalized routine. Break-down the essential tasks into smaller steps, set dates, and prioritize these into your daily schedule. Although several habit studies conclude on varying habit formation periods, the evidence on average supports a duration of just over two months for a habit to stick. Daunting? Remember the options – in two months you could have [success!] or in two months you binge-watched [blank number] of episodes.

3. Remember that life is full of smaller happy moments.

If you seek, you shall find; this truth goes for both positive and negative experiences. If you search for reasons why not to do something, you will be stunned by how quickly your imagination comes to the rescue. During this “training” period, avoid any unnecessary quests for unfulfilled happiness and aim to be content with the process. You can be your own worst enemy, and sadly no one can be as successful in derailing personal progress as much as the self.

For the experienced lazy person, this is all harder than it reads. Afterall, the essence of the advice above is to just do it. If it were as simple as this, it would have been done. On the other hand, “just do it” is the one thing we have not tried. We attempt to “motivate” ourselves rather than instilling in ourselves a sense of duty and respect. I know that the sense of duty might escape us for now, but even goals/imagination/passion requires practice. Think of yourself as a novice student and work yourself up. It can go without saying, but I repeat here, inactivity is not an option.