There are two accepted facts: 1) misery loves company, and 2) people like to eat with other people. I have one suggestion: do not mix. 

Diet is an extension of lifestyle, and consequently, lifestyle reflects personality. I am somewhat extreme when it comes to things I enjoy or topics I feel passionate about, so it’s not odd to find that I approach food in a similar manner. Don’t think “deprivation”, think “discipline” – I incorporate certain food items that are good for me and avoid those which do me no favors. Still with me? Seems harmless enough.

So what is the dilemma you ask? I believe in the mottos: do no harm, and live your own life. Sure, that’s a no brainer, but we still need to live in this world, and in this world, eating is rarely a solitary act and certainly has the potential to do harm in some way or fashion. There seems to be an epidemic of a frankly bizarre fascination with food – it is disturbingly romanticized. Ever go to an “optional” meeting at work because there was word of bagels? Yeah, me neither. Big meals like Thanksgiving and Christmas come around only once a year, but we have to admit that we live risky lives everyday. It is that idolatry of food that is both harmful and annoying, as well as dangerous. You are no doubt familiar with the gentle aroma of  birthday cookies in the office coupled with velvet cooing urging you to devour them (even though it’s not your birthday), the team that wants to go out for drinks or splurge on calories you will never burn off. You deserve it they say, it’s just “one” they insist – but you know the truth, you know. 

If you have the self-command to reject the parading trolloped treats, surely you understand that the behavior does not go unnoticed. Your relationships can evolve positively or diminish significantly depending on your protective tactics and the nature of the relationships excluding the topic of food. Do your friends want to see you succeed? Are they supportive of your choices? 

If they are not particularly on your side, you may experience the following:

Invitations to social events will decrease

We know that friend, the one that perpetually declines invitations. At some point, the invites stop. Prepare for this to be you. There are only so many times you can reject cookies before no one offers any. Team lunches? Forget it, enjoy your salad. But you know what? ENJOY your salad! You made it, saved money in the process, banked a few calories, and remained guilt free. You took a step toward self-discipline and honored your goal.

Your meals will be a spectator sport

“What did you bring for lunch?”, “Hmm what are you going to eat?”, ”Oh, are you getting that?”,”Want a little bite of this?”

The title I initially thought of for this post was “Please don’t look at my food”.  Wanted or unwanted attention is bound to occur if we are vocal about our beliefs or passions – in the case of food, people are easily triggered (note this post), so be prepared for scrutiny, observation, and commentary. Your meals will be transformed into a spectator sport. Fortunately, you have the power to rephrase the problem into a positive opportunity for education. Your inquisitive peers might be curious about how you made your food, so be sure to share how much you enjoyed making something at home, and leave it at that. If you are lucky, they may want the recipe!

Lies, Deceit, Sabotage!

If common ground cannot be reached with others, saboteurs will attempt to tempt you. Why? I have no idea where the urge grows. Vandals! In moments of weakness after sinking my teeth into something scrumptious, with wild eyes the villain asks “So good right? Wasn’t it worth it!?”. Let me tell you something friends, it has never been worth it! My stomach is an excellent judge of character, and it rarely welcomes the new introductions. Neither does my skin for that matter. 

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Alright, I was a little negative wasn’t I? Yes, I was totally projecting. On the one hand, I did not exaggerate the truth of my experiences, but on the other hand, these outcomes are dependant on your network and how you manage those relationships. Be assured that even the biggest naysayers will move on. I admit that in the initial stages of my diet changes, external reactions and unwanted behaviors made me feel bitter and frustrated – that is until I weighed the unforgivable alternative: betraying my goals to please others. As a way to make it easier for myself, I freed myself of labels. In other words, why claim vegan or pescatarian? Remember the mottos: do no harm/live your own life – I am imperfect and may slip up from time to time, but it is truly is no one’s business. 

Have you experienced similar challenges regarding a new diet or lifestyle? Leave a comment and share your story!